Appropriate behavior for dating
In that model if something doesn't work then the approach is to change strategy/evaluation. This loop takes on a different form in the blamer's reality.
It isn't the act itself, but it often clears the road. Ordinary humans have inhibitions that serve as a buffer against what we know is bad behavior.When negative consequences result, it is always someone or something else's fault.This creates a one way flow that serves the purpose to 1) protect the blamer's core beliefs, 2) meet the blamer's desires or 3) in accordance to his/her emotional state at the time.Blame and Selfishness People who blame others tend to overemphasize themselves while at the same time underemphasizing the negative effects of their actions.Realize something very important here, we didn't say 'overemphasize the effects of others on them,' we said, overemphasize themselves.It is the continuation and protection of these 'filters' that leads to the rest of the process.
Let's look at this process staying with the street corner analogy.
An example is you come to a corner with a traffic light. We do this kind of looping process all the time, adjusting as the results of that action come in.
The stimuli coming in is the signal is red and cross traffic is passing. Notice that in the previous diagram there was a two way flow as actions and evaluation were compared with the results.
Clearly, their understanding of the notion of responsibility is vague and contradictory.
Colin Wilson on Dan Mac Dougald How many times have you heard someone who said something that is mean, vindictive and hurtful -- or committed a violent and/or destructive act -- justify it by saying the recipient had 'made' the perpetrator mad?
For example, most alcoholics agree their situation is largely their own fault: yet, they go on to deny that their failures are their own responsibility; they are inclined to place blame elsewhere.